Should You Shave Your Legs?

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Twice Shy: Should You Shave Your Legs?

dating while hairy, fourth edition...

This post was written about 3 weeks ago, and has been waiting for me to get around to uploading the picture from my camera. I will have to do an updated leg hair post in the very near future, as there have been some new developments since this was written.


This will be, by far, the most disturbing post yet for many people... I am actually going to include a picture of my legs... now with 6 months of hair growth!!!


I have had two recent experiences where these legs have led to problems... and the weirdest part is that the people had not even seen them! I was discussing gender performance with a very feminine lesbian that I met online. I'm not sure exactly how the discussion on shaving happened, but I remember it being something about her complaining about not liking to shave, but doing it anyway. She asked me if I ever planned to shave again, and I told her that I wasn't sure... I haven't thought much about it, but I wasn't entirely opposed to the idea. She had to go a few minutes later and hasn't come back online since (which I think means that she blocked me... I'm not offended or anything, we had only spoken a few times, but I think it's a bit funny).

When I did shave my legs often, they would often get little red bumps all over them, the skin would get rough and dry, and within a couple days they would have prickly stubble beginning to grow again. They didn't feel nice to touch without the help of shaving gel and several types of moisturizers. Now that I'm not shaving, the hair and skin are both incredibly soft and I find them way nicer to touch, and they feel better.

I knew that having hairy legs would not be a popular choice for many people, and I was expecting people to be a little uncomfortable with my decision not to shave (for now) at times, but I am surprised by how completely shocked some people have been.

As you can see from the picture, the hair isn't particularly coarse and isn't all that noticeable from a few feet away. Still, when a woman in my grad program saw the hair last week, she jumped back, hands flailing, and almost shrieked "what the hell is that?" She always has perfectly applied makeup and not a hair out of place, so I would imagine that body hair would be a complete no-no for her. I couldn't help laughing at the severity of her reaction, but still, it led me to question whether this was possibly more transgressive than I had originally thought.

A third post about body hair

It seems as though posts about body hair (especially leg hair) might become regular installments on this blog because I have had so many experiences around being outside in the summer without properly groomed legs.

This time, it was my mother who commented. I was at her house and she said;

I don't know why you do that to yourself (referring to not shaving my legs).

To which I responded;

You mean why I don't do that to myself.

It is not me doing something to myself that my mom is questioning, but the absence of doing something that, as a cisgendered woman, I am expected to do. My mom gave me my first razor the summer before grade 4. At that age, I wasn't doing it for boys but because women were not supposed to have body hair. I wonder how many hours I have spent shaving over the past 18 years. And how much money I spent on razors, waxes, depilatory creams, shaving gels, and moisturizers to soothe sore skin. It is something that is largely unquestioned by the women I know.

I am currently almost 8 weeks razor-free (shaved once after going about 6 weeks without prior to my son's birthday party at the beach). My legs are actually the softest (and most comfortable) they have ever been, no razor burn, rashes from harsh chemicals, or any discomfort whatsoever. That being said, I am sitting here in shorts debating over whether I should change into capris before I go out this afternoon so I am obviously not completely comfortable yet, but I'm working on it.

And I think the next installment might be a post about dating with body hair.

Women and body hair

For some, this post could be the most disturbing post I have written to date, which is really sad if you think about it.

To start, I do not have a position on women's body hair... I honestly couldn't care less if women shave, wax, or go natural on any part of their bodies providing that they are comfortable with their decision and at very least occasionally question it. Actually, that isn't entirely true.. when I see a female celebrity rocking body hair at a concert or on the red carpet, I feel a twinge of happiness!

I tend to shave my legs occasionally in the summer (and by occasionally, I mean like 2-3 times over the course of the entire summer)... and in the winter, maybe if there is a wedding or something I might consider it. The hair isn't particularly thick or dark, and is usually not that noticeable unless you are really paying attention.

Anyway, at school this week I was wearing knee-length shorts and had not shaved my legs in over a month. I was walking down the hallway and a man looked at me... you know that up and down "approving" look that isn't quite a catcall but can be very uncomfortable and even intimidating for the person being looked at? As he was looking downwards, he noticed the hair on my legs and his face changed to an expression that I would describe as shock and disgust. He then looked away and went on with what he was doing. The worst part is that it happened a second time the same day as I was leaving school... and I had my 5 year old son with me, so being a mother does not necessarily protect women from being stared at, neither does dressing casually, not wearing makeup, not being particularly feminine, and I could go on.... not that any of these things should be necessary, as all women should have a right to walk down the street or through their school without being made to feel uncomfortable by such things.

I'm not sure which look is more insulting; the I-am-entitled-to-look-at-your-body-simply-because-you-are-female look, or the disgusted how-dare-you-not-prepare-yourself-properly-for-my-gaze look. At least the second has an element of defiance on my part.

Seriously, the only explanation for this is a double standard. He sure had hairy legs (the first guy was wearing shorts), but that is fine for men; actually, it would be weird for him not to have leg hair unless he was a swimmer or something. I have had men ask me why I didn't prefer the feeling of soft, smooth legs over stubbly legs, and I've turned the question back on them, considering they don't seem to prefer their legs hair-free. And they aren't stubbly... after a few weeks the hair gets soft, and it is actually quite fun to play with (maybe that's just me??).

There is absolutely no biological or even hygienic reason to remove body hair; it is almost entirely related to cultural expectations, and this is an expectation that I have rarely seen challenged. So I will continue to challenge it, albeit intermittently, because I don't think that we can pretend to live in a "post-feminist" world if there is one standard for men (functional) and a completely different standard for women (conform to men's standards of beauty).

On a more anti-consumerist note, I wonder how much money a woman spends on shavers, shaving cream, after shave lotions, hair removal creams, home and salon waxes, etc. And how much waste goes into the landfills... And how many dangerous chemicals get absorbed into her body and into the environment...