Gender and Sleds

I was looking at sleds for a possible christmas gift for my children, and was annoyed with the gendering of these sleds. There were a total of 12 sleds at the department store I went to; one was wooden, one was a pink and purple Dora the Explorer sled (meant for young girls) and the other 10 were various "boys" sleds... Bakugon (if you don't know what this is, consider yourself lucky) Spiderman, Ironman, and other such comic-type characters that I did not recognize in battle ready positions. Apparently girls don't go sliding as much as boys.

Even the helmets for when they are sliding/snowboarding, had only one option meant for girls, being disney princess (which my 9 year old has outgrown) and tons of "boys" options. Luckily, one of those was a rather plain black and white one that I felt was relatively non-gender specific.

Also, I am wondering what the implications are regarding the infantalization of girls, as Dora is geared towards preschoolers whereas comic books are typically meant for older kids.

Now, I have nothing against getting my daughter a spiderman sled, but my son would think it was for him and I'm not sure my daughter would like it... she's all about the pink and frilly. She rides her brother's Marvel comic book sled all the time, but I'm not sure how she would feel about owning one. It seems as though it doesn't matter how much I tell them that these products are needlessly gendered, I am only one voice, and their peers and the media tells them otherwise.

I am not advocating for making a bunch of pink sleds for girls to ride... All I wanted was a sled in pretty much any colour that didn't appear as though it were being marketed only to children of one specific gender. I'm sure I can research it online and get the kind of sled I am looking for, so I'm not posting this looking for sled advice, just commenting on the annoying gendered sleds.

Liberal feminist princess storybook not quite good enough

I bought my daughter a book from the Women's bookstore in Toronto called "Don't Kiss the Frog; Princess Stories with Attitude" figuring that it would be a feminist book about princesses (if one should ever exist). Overall, it is pretty good... the princess does not always end up with the prince, and takes a rather active role in most of the stories.

I feel like I'm being extremely picky here, all things considered, but one part of story entitled "The Princess and the P.E" really bothered me.

A frog, using a whistle, helped a princess who was worried about her athletic skills learn how to jump really high and run really fast (this appeared to all happen in the span of a few minutes, because we don't need to work hard to improve our athletic skills or anything, we just need someone to blow a whistle at just the right moment). Anyway, afterwards, he said

"I'll be your best friend... just kiss me"

and the story goes

So Wendy bent down and kissed the frog. She didn't really want to, but after all, he had been very kind to her -- and he didn't really have more warts on his face than princess Viola.

At which point the frog turned into a prince, offered to be her handsome prince, but he was wearing gym clothes and was all muddy, so when he went to hug her, she ran away.

I can't stand that this book had her kiss the frog when she didn't want to because he had been so nice to her. I am trying to read it in a more progressive way, like she realized that she shouldn't have kissed him and that's why she ran away or something or that this will teach girls not to kiss the boy if they don't want to, I don't know.

Still, boy is nice to girl, asks for a kiss, girl feels obligated to oblige even though she states that she doesn't want to. Not the message I want my child reading.

Also, would she have ran from the hug if he had been a handsome prince, instead of a smelly prince covered in mud and wearing gym clothes? Does that even matter?

Either way, it all reads so date-rape-y to me. As I was reading it, I was so disgusted by it that we paused twice to talk about enthusiastic consent and what the effects of having this storyline in a supposedly empowering book could be. I'm concerned that reading this uncritically will make it seem normal to my children... and I think that the media does a good enough job getting that message across.

Overall, the book is a very liberal feminist piece of work. The princesses do not need a prince to rescue them, because girls can defeat the dragon and win jousting competitions, and only sometimes end up falling in love with the prince. But, this happens just because they try hard enough - it seems like pure luck or something (or a frog blew a whistle).

Even the back cover of the book is very "modern liberated woman"

For the princesses in this book, the old rules no longer apply. They might still wear tiaras, but they do things their own way!

Take the role formerly had by the prince (wining sports trophies, saving people from dragons, etc), throw in a bit of you-are-still-not-as-good-as-men, (the previously described frog-kissing scene) and make sure to maintain the need to differentiate yourself from others by wearing your tiara, a symbol of femininity and class, and convince girls that everything is ok!

The message seems to be that girls can be independent and still attract a prince. And that as long as you continue to be strong and independent, you will have a happy ending... and maybe this is too much to ask for from a children's book, but at least some of the Disney-type princess stories seem to have evidence of structural barriers (Mulan, for example, cannot join the army because she is a girl). This book seems to send the message that everything is ok just the way things are. And if you don't get a happily ever after, maybe you just aren't independent enough.

Still, this is far better than most princess stories the kids have read, and this rather harsh critique feels like I'm being overly picky in a lot of ways, but these attitudes camouflaged as feminism scare me far more than overt sexism, as my 9 year old can describe the sexism or class issues in Disney, but the reviews for this book seem to suggest that pretty much everyone is reading it as empowering towards girls. I'm just not sure this liberal brand of empowerment is what we should be striving for.

Quick vent about kids and consumerism

My 8 year old daughter asked if she could purchase a book from the book fair, and I told her I would go with her after school to get it, but I have to get cash first. She was concerned it would be gone and asked if she could bring her own money. When I told her she didn't have enough money for it, she asked if she could bring her money to buy something else - like she might have enough money for a pen or some other gadget or trinket being sold.

I let her take it because it is her money and she saved it herself, but this bothers me. We are so into the idea of buying something that we will bring money to a store (or bookfair) without a concept of what we need or wish to purchase, just for the point of finding something that we might happen to want. In our house, this item will usually end up buried in a corner within 2 days and never seen again.

I think Hannah Montana and The Suite Life are beating me when it comes to consumer education.

Boys draw, girls doodle: More needlessly gendered children's products

These two books just showed up in a book order form that was sent home from school




The picture is horrible, but they are two doodle books, one for boys and another for girls.

They boys book's description says

Draw a cool tree house, a flying machine, and much more! Let your imagination run wild with these illustration starters.

The girls book description says

Doodle a dolphin, picture a penguin, design a fancy costume, and more! Fun, simple, and best of all, no drawing skills required!

So, boys can draw, girls doodle (less skill required). Boys get to use their imagination, starting with illustrations and then deciding where to go from there.

The part that annoys me most is that the girls book requires no skill. I am assuming that the skill required for both books is quite similar, but the approach to selling the concept of drawing is quite different by gender.

Maybe boys feel more of a sense of mastery than girls that permits them to be less intimidated by learning something new, like drawing, even if they do not necessarily have previous drawing skills? I'm not sure exactly, but the girls book is definitely deskilled in comparison to the boys book (just like women's work in the home is deskilled in comparison to paid work).

Active men and passive women in Lego

I will probably be called out for being overly picky here, but I am somewhat annoyed that the characters that I would gender as typically masculine on this lego box (which my daughter got for her birthday) are busy doing things... there is a business man, a delivery man, and a policeman, whereas the one I would gender as a woman is just sitting on a bench with no apparent job or title.


This side of the box shows the same thing... the men are busy doing things... walking to work, delivering heavy packages, protecting road signs while holding various fancy noise making devices (?), and the woman sits down on the bench and listens to music.


Because men do things while women just are. Maybe it just gets to me right now because the last couple months of thesis work has centered largely around the invisibility of unpaid domestic labour.

I'm going to go switch the people's stuff around right now and destroy the box... the woman is about to get the briefcase and I will make a tiny vacuum or something for the now business-less guy.

Edited to add: I also just noticed that the woman is the only one smiling... not sure if it is because she's not busy doing stuff like the men so she is allowed to enjoy her free time, or because, as a woman, she is supposed to be pleasant. Either way, delivery people enjoying their coffee don't need to scowl.

The gendering of toys at a second hand store

I was trying to pass the time while waiting for my daughter to finish drama class on a rainy day, so I took my son to a used clothing store to let him look at the toys. This has always been a treat for my kids... to go to a consignment shop or a used clothing store and when we were done looking at the things that I wanted to look at, they would play with the toys. One of my favorite things about it was that all of the toys were mixed together, so there was no division based on age or gender of the children who are supposed to play with the toys, like in other toy stores. Much to my disappointment, this is no longer the case.

The section labeled "Girls Toys" contains stuffed animals, toys that are pink or purple in color, dolls and for some reason, board games (although that could partly be because there is room for game shelf here).

These toys include a purple My Little Ponies playhouse, a pink Littlest Petshop playhouse, a Littlest Petshop ice cream parlor, purple secret diary with a key card, jewelry and craft sets, a Bratz toy of some sort, Barbies, Dolls, High School Musical Cheerleading pompoms, skipping ropes, a cooking set and plastic dishes, and many other things that I cannot see or cannot identify (as well as what appears to be an electric drum and black boys dress shoes that I think waere left behind by a shopper, as they don't seem to fit in with the rest of the items). All toys that I have consistently seen gendered as female in advertising. The next picture shows the board games and stuffed animals.


The section labeled "Boys Toys," on the other hand, is a bit different. Although it does contain toys that I would suggest are typically gendered as being for male children (Tonka Truck, monster truck, transformers action figure and various other cars and trucks just to name a few), it also contains many toys that I don't think are typically gendered (Rubix cube, chess set, M&Ms Candy toy, math and reading flashcards, outdoor activities/sports toys, waterguns, keyboards, etc). Not seen in this picture, but still in the boys section, were 3 average lego sets (the kind that was marketed for all children before they came out with pink lego sets for girls).


This is just another example of male as standard or normal, along with the devaluation of all things female. All children are allowed to shop in the boys section. Boys, however, will not find anything suitable in the girls section (thankfully, my son would dispute that.. he loves Littlest Petshop and jewelry crafts). I think this store needs to seriously reconsider this new setup. I just want these toy stores to put everything back together on one big shelf and just let kids be kids.

How to be a princess

My mother purchased a book for my daughter when she was on vacation in England and Scotland. It is called "The Usborne Princess Handbook: Your Top Secret guide to becoming a True Princess." I think she does this just to annoy me, as she was carefully watching my reaction as she began reading it.



Some of what it says is so awful that I hope it is meant as a joke, but my 7 year old daughter (who is obsessed with all things pink, sparkly, and "princess-like", definitely does not see it as anything other than explicit how-to instructions. In 6 years of trick-or-treating at halloween, she has dressed as a princess 3 times (and Hannah Montana once, which is basically the same thing). So this is serious stuff for her.

I will just type a few specific sentences and phrases that I have found in the limited reading I have done in this book.

Every girl has an inner princess - you just need to find her.

So this book applies to every girl, no exceptions. Tomboys, you aren't looking hard enough.

...there's more to being a princess than traipsing around in tiaras. You also need to know how to behave like one...

It is not about being born into a royal family of some sort... it is about behaving in specific ways. And since every girl has an inner princess, every girl (and woman, presumably) should behave in these ways.

The first step to becoming a princess is to be helpful... polite... and kind to everyone. A true princess never loses her temper... goes off in a huff... or makes a fuss.

Can you imagine a book telling boys that they have to be helpful and kind to everyone? Me neither... Boys are important. They are allowed to make a fuss on occasion. But a good princess must be groomed into taking orders from her father and husband, and giving orders (kindly) to children and servants.

Remember to keep clean! You can only sparkle if you're spotless.

Another double standard. Boys aren't only allowed to be dirty sometimes, but it is expected of them. Boys play in the mud, they play sports, grass stains on boys are an accepted part of life. Girls, however, must sparkle.

Don't cake yourself in make-up. It can be very unattractive.

But there is a limit on how feminine a girl is allowed to look before it crosses a line. We wouldn't want to be too sparkly, lest the princess be mistaken for a prostitute. The Madonna/whore dichotomy is alive and well in children's literature.

As a true princess, you need to be graceful at all times, from the turn of your head to the sweet of your curtsey. That means no tripping, no falling, no slouching, no plodding.

Great advice! It would be horrible for a princess to slouch on occasion... or trip and fall. That would be so unladylike... And again, advice that would never be given to a boy. Boys can't be graceful... that would be a little...

...try not to eat too much, or too fast.

Eating disorders. Let's start them early. Because there is nothing worse than a fat princess.

...the rule is quite simple: princesses don't run.... After all, you have to give the prince of your dreams a chance to rescue you.

Seriously?!? How are you supposed to play if you can't even run? I guess a good princess doesn't need to play sports or a good game of tag, but what does she do for fun other than kissing random frogs in the hopes that one will someday turn into a prince? And what do princesses need rescuing from, exactly? According to the book, things like hairy spiders and fire breathing dragons.

So, princesses (and by princesses I mean all women and girls out there, cause we all have inner princesses, remember), if you see a spider, don't kill it yourself, wait for a prince to come rescue you. And if you see a fire-breathing dragon, do not run away. If you run, how are you going to meet prince charming? Sure, if he isn't on time, the dragon might burn or eat you, but at least you know you died doing everything you could to meet a prince, right?


Thanks mom! (BTW, your other gifts were wonderful and very appreciated, even the purple tartan tights! Who knew I would ever wear tights?). And no, the book has not been banned in our house, we are reading it critically, and I am trying to turn it into a joke about how ridiculous these standards are, whether or not it was meant that way.

Disney princess videos

I've come across these videos before, but I think they are such a brilliantly funny critique of Disney princesses that I wanted to post them here too.





I guess many of the role models out there for little girls to look up to might leave something to be desired...

Needlessly gendered children's product

This category could go on indefinitely, but I just want to show a few toys from a Sears catalog that was just delivered. First, in the 'Outdoor Summer Fun' section are two pool loungers.


Although I will concede that the toys are not identical and possibly not designed to be a male and female version of the same toy, they are advertised as such by being the only two options of pool loungers and are featured right next to each other. The lounger on the left features Buzz Lightyear (a character often depicted on toys designed for boys) and shows a boy playing on a police boat style lounger. The toy involves active play; you get to spray people with what the website describes as water-blasting cannon, a type of toy weapon.

The girls version, however, involves no active play. The girl is lounging in the chair smiling at her Barbie, as the chair offers a specific lounge area for a Barbie doll. The girl is also posed very similarly to how adult swimsuit models might pose, and takes up very little space with her legs curled up.

My daughter is very "girly" in that she loves Barbies and the colour pink (grrr), but, I have to say that, if we had the luxury of a swimming pool, she would definitely prefer the Buzz Lightyear lounger. She would likely get bored of watching Barbie lounge after a few minutes, and unless her Barbie had special water cannon protection powers, she would be defenseless to her brother's water-blasting cannon attack.

A sleeping bag on the same page was needlessly gendered in that it offered the exact same products, but as either a Soccer theme, or a Fairy Princess.


Both have identical items (sleeping bag, flashlight, water bottle, keychain, whistle, etc), but the girls one has to be distinct from the boys sleeping bag with pretty colors. My son is involved in soccer (and my daughter would be too if they didn't make the 7 year olds play until 9pm on schoolnights). In my city, soccer is usually co-ed until early teens and girls and women are well represented on competitive and recreational teams, so I'm not sure why the bags have to be gendered in this way.

I also find it interesting that the "boys" version is based on something kids do whereas the girls version is something that they wish to be and requires no obvious doing on thier part.

Edited to add:

I just found another picture, this time from a book club that came home from school

(the bottom outside pictures)

The girls book gives them "easy instructions and ideas for tiaras, sparkly masks, presents, and more!" because girls need things simple, like things that are pretty and sparkly, and enjoy being generous. The boys book has "ideas and instructions for mummies, masks and more!" because boys don't need their instructions to be easy or their masks to be sparkly.

gendered diaries

Every month, my children's school and daycare sends home book club order forms, the same kind that I received when I was in elementary school. I couldn't even begin to count how many times I have seen a little diary with a lock and two keys in it- usually pink or purple, sometimes with lace or other frilly designs and clearly labeled 'Diary' or 'Journal'

This time, I found a diary that is not geared towards girls... note that it is not called a diary.


I'm not going to bother with details about the appearance of the journal, because I believe it is quite obvious.

I am both happy and annoyed with this product. Happy that boys are finally being allowed to have an outlet to write things down. Unfortunately, they won't be able to do much writing of their innermost thoughts and feelings, as they will be busy "With cool activities and loads of bizarre facts, this fun-filled journal will keep young boys entertained for hours." Girls, apparently, will not be entertained by cool activities or bizarre facts.

Girls don't need activities in their journals... although, my daughter has a Hannah Montana journal with a lock and activities, so that isn't entirely gendered, but I would love to analyze some of the differences in the content... like does this journal tell you to write down the name of your best friend, favorite teacher, and 'ultimate crush'? I suspect there will be fewer lists and more activities in the 'boys' version.

But really, do we to segregate journals by gender?