Monday, January 16, 2012

Yet another offensive facebook comment conversation

I have been debating whether to post this or not because of thoughts I have been having about the ethics of posting about people in a blog that is no longer all that anonymous. This conversation was from facebook several months ago, and I have decided to go ahead and post it now because it still kind of bothers me and I find posting to be incredibly freeing in that once it is posted, it is no longer something that I think about.

Anyway, a friend on facebook updated their status asking if there were any men with a drivers license who needed a job, to which I asked if the work could be done by a woman (because I always seem to feel the need to comment on things that seem like they might be sexist). When I found out that it was for an actual company, I asked which one, so I could send some female friends down to apply, considering that sounds like a human rights violation.

One of her friends wrote

you must be gay!!! thats a gay woman's answer!!!

Because I guess only gay women care if men can apply for a job that they cannot. A mutual friend told them that their comment was totally uncalled for, to which this person responded

Am I wrong?????? If so I apologize. But I bet I'm right.

Why is it that he only has to apologize if I am not gay... if I am, then it is perfectly acceptable for him to talk about my sexuality on someone else's facebook wall based on a one sentence comment about why women couldn't apply for the job as well.

When I informed him that you don't have to be a lesbian to be a feminist (because I don't know when to walk away from an argument online) he responded with

it's ok really, i like pussy too.
Are you??? and i'm surprised you never spelled it " WOMYN"

So, I guess my point is if you think someone sounds queer in a facebook comment, great. But don't feel the need to post about it repeatedly. I was tempted for a while to comment on every post he wrote saying something like "you must be straight, with a comment like that" but figured it he wasn't worth the time and effort.

Also, am I the only person that seems to have repeated offensive conversations on facebook?


  1. Thank you for standing up for all women! I wonder what his response would have been if you called him on being straight...

    Not on facebook, and not repeated because I removed myself from the message board, but I have an offensive story that's been bothering me for YEARS from when I was on a local male-dominated message board about a male-dominated hobby (I was the only woman, I knew everyone who posted in real life).

    A new member, whom I didn't know, joined with the handle "Shocker". He was a friend of the owner of the site. This guy knew nothing about the subject, and I had the most experience and knowledge about the hobby out of everyone there, so I thought I was a valued member.

    "Shocker" posted some sort of greeting message, so I told him to fuck off. I'm not sure of the exact wording, it wasn't really nice, and it was specifically about his handle. He said I must be a woman with a chip on my shoulder, totally dismissing me. I don't think that anyone on the board stood up for me. I was asked by an admin to be nicer to new people, and made a poor excuse about his friend's handle, and I responded that I am not nice to men who's handles are slang for acts of violence against women. I never posted there again.

    Thanks for letting me vent, I feel MUCH better!

  2. Wow, that's atrocious. Especially bizarre is how he needed to have his bigoted world view proven right by you so badly. It's as if the dude really, really needed to know if you were a lesbian, lest there be some flaw in his hitherto air tight logic. I bet he did that so he could convince himself that he was being rational. This is a major reason why I avoid chatting and commenting on facebook; if I engaged there, I'm sure I'd have as many facebook horror stories as you.