Anorexia jokes and celebrity diets

***Before reading this post, if you are a person who is triggered by discussions about eating disorders, you might not want to continue. I talk about my personal experience with body image, and unhealthy thoughts that I have had about my appearance, and I want to make sure that writing this does not normalize unhealthy thoughts, but instead informs people who do not have these thoughts where they might come from and how it can feel to be really uncomfortable with your body. I have also deliberately left out things like measurement numbers, actual weight, and comments specific to my body or appearance when it was not integral to my point, because I believe that such comments can encourage the type of thinking that leads to unhealthy body image.***



My brother, in search of a good profile picture, sent me this link that he thought I would find interesting... it is called "11 secrets to taking amazing nude photos"... for the record, he would probably like me to note that he insists all of his photos will be clothed, he was just looking for tips on things like flattering lights and camera angles. The site is a joke site, often in good humor... I used to read it regularly and found some of the columns quite funny, but I stopped reading it a while ago because there is often sexist, misogynist, heteronormative and occasionally even racist humor. This one got me thinking about my own relationship with diet and exercise.

For the purpose of this post, I would like to show tip number 3... and at this point I feel I should include a trigger warning for eating disorders.

Don't eat on shoot day. Have you ever gone a day without eating anything? It completely changes the way you feel. When you look in the mirror, you'll just feel like you look great. It doesn't matter if you weigh 95 pounds or 295... if you go without eating for the day, when you look in the mirror, you'll think you look better.

So don't eat on shoot day. (If you're anorexic, on shoot day, skip the can of Diet Coke for breakfast and lettuce leaf for lunch to avoid third worlding out your belly.)

By not eating, you'll (1) look better without a meal sitting in your belly and (2) more importantly, feel like you look better. It comes back to that confidence thing.

I could understand, maybe, if it said don't eat a heavy meal before the shoot... but this is definitely crossing the line. I, for one, do not feel like I look great if I haven't eaten all day... I feel like I'm going to pass out. If I think I look better when I look in the mirror, it is only because the image is probably getting blurry. Without food, I do not feel confident, I feel sick. It upsets me that women might feel more confident when they are starving. Just look at these quotes from models/actresses...

Read more: http://jezebel.com/5627747/four-out-of-four-hollywood-actresses-are-really-really-hungry#ixzz0yTX0TvG9

I don't think there is ever an appropriate time for anorexia humor... it just isn't funny. It is a very serious medical condition that kills women (and men, but mostly women). With websites purposefully encouraging anorexia, it needs to be clear that none of this is funny.

My own struggle with my weight has been quite unhealthy. In grade 4, our teacher had us each go up to the front of the class and weighed us in front of the entire class. We had to write down everybody's weight and make a chart out of the data. To this day, I can tell you how much I weighed when I was 10 years old. There were 4 girls in the class who weighed less than me, and I was jealous of them because, even at that age, I knew that weighing less was a good thing, but only for girls. So my best friend and I would talk about dieting and exercising to lose weight. We would spend our allowances on teens magazines and used them as step by step instructions on how to diet, exercise, and aspired to look like the models from the fashion pages.

This was the same year that a girl in the class started telling me that my butt was so big that I wouldn't fit through a door sideways (I was a gymnast, so I was very muscular). I can remember spending long stretches of time standing on the ledge of the bathtub so that I could see my body in the bathroom mirror and thinking that I looked like a freak... and I was 10 years old. I also remember wishing that I had the willpower to become anorexic, because I thought that would help me. At night, I would resolve to stop eating the next day, then I wouldn't make it past lunch. But I would exercise instead to make up for it; it was about body image, but it was also about control. Did I mention that I was 10 years old?

By the time I was 13, my best friend and I would exercise together and discuss food, weight, boys, fashion, makeup... all of the things that this magazine told us to that we were supposed to think about. We even began counting calories and measuring ourselves regularly to make sure puberty was not making us get bigger.

By grade 8 I was a competitive figure skater. I was really healthy and fit and in great shape, but I hated my legs because they were so thick... it didn't matter that I could press more weight than any of the boys in my class using the leg press, or that I could beat them at the 1500 meter race (the longest in my age category). I was a girl, and girls leg muscles were supposed to be long and lean, and mine weren't lean enough, so I would do a lot of ballet-style stretching and exercising to try and lengthen my muscles.

My first pregnancy was terrifying for me as well. Women are actually supposed to gain weight... but I heard so many horror stories about trying to lose that weight that I was scared to gain it. From the day I found out I was pregnant until the day I gave birth, I gained a total of 12lbs... The doctor had me coming in for weekly visits at 5 months because I was losing weight instead of gaining. I started exercising 5 days postpartum (most doctors recommend waiting 4-6 weeks). I would go for long walks (10+ km per day at 2 weeks postpartum) with the stroller and work out in my livingroom 2-3 times a day. And people kept complimenting me on getting my pre-baby body back, so I kept at it. And the less control I had over my life (the more abusive my partner became), the more I would exercise.

I am currently the heaviest I have ever been in my life, with the exception of my second pregnancy... which means only that I no longer have to purchase any specific clothing items from the children's section at most stores. I eat... I always have... that is not my issue. I struggle with exercising. I need to figure out how to find a healthy balance. I tend to begin exercising, go all out for a week or two, get scared, and stop altogether. Maybe the healthiest way to do this would be to pick 2 or 3 days a week and only exercise those days. Or to only choose fun ways to exercise, then it is entertaining and not compulsive. I'm not sure... I haven't thought about it much yet. But I can guarantee you that it does not help when I see jokes about how great I will feel if I don't eat for the day. Or quotes from celebrities normalizing unhealthy dieting behaviors. Or ads depicting which standards of beauty I am supposed to conform to.... this list could go on...

OSAP and the Toronto Star

The Toronto Star ran an interesting article about how it is difficult for students to eat on the budget they are given, which is no surprise, considering all the jokes within pop culture about surviving on Kraft Dinner and frozen pizza. The purpose appeared to be to raise awareness that OSAP (student loan) rates are very low, however many people were unsympathetic, and wrote letters to the Star about how students do not deserve more money and they need to either figure out how to live on that income, or get a job. I am not going to go into too much detail about them, but check the links if you would like to see the stories. I wrote a letter to the Star about it, and I am copying it here, so it gets read whether or not it is published...

I am a student and a single mother with two children and I would like to discuss my experiences with OSAP. One writer said that OSAP's allowance does not go towards housing, but this is not true. If you are a student who lives with your parents, you generally do not qualify for OSAP. People on OSAP do have to pay for housing, tuition, and books, which leaves students with $6,500 per year, at best, to pay for rent and food.

When I left Ontario Works to go back to school, I had about $50 a month more to live on, so I assumed it would be easy. Then I realized that I lost most of my health and discretionary benefits that I received with Ontario Works, as well as my special diet allowance (my son is allergic to wheat and dairy, and is quite expensive to feed). I have also had to pay for childcare out of my own pocket for two required courses that are only offered in the evening as I could not get a licensed childcare space after 5:30. Ontario Works would have paid extra for my son's allergy and asthma medication, my daughter's glasses, and evening childcare; OSAP did not.

I am offended by the comment that one particular reader is "astounded that intelligent students struggle to feed themselves on $7.50 per day." Unexpected expenses come up all the time, especially if you have children. For example, my daughter just brought home her school and daycare running shoes as she has outgrown them. If the local second hand clothing store is not currently carrying her size, I will have to spend money allotted to several days worth of food on shoes.

Also, the foods that I can afford on what is left of that $7 per day may not be very nutritional. With a few extra dollars I would be able to get whole grain (and gluten-free) wheat products, high protein foods, and a rich assortment of fruits and vegetables that my children's bodies and brains need in order to grow to their fullest potential.

The universities themselves do not make things any easier either, with meals costing a minimum of $8 for a small sandwich or $6 for a slice of pizza with a beverage at my school and water in a vending machine costing $1.75. I have to be sure to come prepared every day because I often cannot afford to purchase water; coffee is actually cheaper at the on-campus Tim Hortons.

One reader said that "students should be grateful that they get money to begin with, and if it's not enough, get a part time job." OSAP is a loan; we do have to pay most, if not all, of this money back. When we, as a country, have some of the highest tuition rates in the developed world and women need to earn a post-secondary degree to earn the same income as men without a high school diploma, pardon me if I do not feel entirely grateful. As for the comment to get a job- I have two children and a part-time job as well as a full-time courseload including a thesis and a placement. For my teaching assistantship, I work only 5 hours a week and feel guilty about the time this takes away from my children. You can look at my schedule and tell me where to pen in that part-time job, as well as how to pay for the childcare expenses while I am at work, because they will not be covered by OSAP.

Food is not a luxury. We should not be expected to live on rice and plain pasta or cucumber sandwiches. Food and proper nutrition should be a right that all Canadians are entitled to.

"Man Hungry"

According to the author, who was on Canada AM this morning, "mad hungry means they [men] are very hungry, so you have to feed them to make them happy, then you have to teach them how to feed themselves"

As we all know, men are very hungry (but women and girls aren't), and they are only happy when fed (but girls can be happy while starving, somehow). And you have to teach men to cook, because they obviously don't know how, however, it is assumed that girls will know how, naturally, as opposed to having to teach them.

I, for one, came from the womb knowing how to cook. Anyone that has ever tasted my cooking will understand how outrageous that statement is- i have set a pot of water on fire.