Facebook status posts... again

I have written about facebook status updates a few times on here. I am finding that, more and more often, they serve to uphold traditional gender roles. Last week I posted about how mothers are supposed to "sacrifice everything" for their families... This week, I saw a married woman on my facebook friends list post this onto her status.

If you have a wonderful husband, fiancé, or boyfriend that works hard to take care of you and would do anything just for you and your family, then repost this as your status to give the honest, well behaved men out there the recognition that they deserve. Because great men are few and far between, and I have one of them! ♥

The first thing I asked myself is what exactly is meant by "take care of." In this context, I don't believe they are referring to cooking dinner or housekeeping- I believe that they are referring to his ability to financially provide for his family.

A man would do anything for his family, but a woman must sacrifice everything for her family... doesn't seem like a big difference at first, but I see a lot of meaning in these differences, even just in the sense that men are actively doing whereas women are passively sacrificing.

I also find it insulting to men, stating that there are not many great men out there, and even mentioning that good men should be "well-behaved." Sounds like words that we would usually use with children.

I am so over these copy/pasted facebook status updates... I have seen a few good ones, such as one a year ago urging women not to use the f-word (fat- not the other f-word), but, for the most part, I find them offensive and I am often surprised to see who has posted them.

Blaming the victim in a local news story

In a small town in Northern Ontario, there was a sexual assault that has "left a town in shock" (because sexual assault is so rare). A teenage boy went for a walk with a friend and sexually assaulted her.

The news story led with a resident who said "If it's true, I'm disgusted"

If it's true? Really? Is that how we want to talk about these things? I am so annoyed right now. Every time I hear something implying that a rape victim could be lying about what happened to them, I worry that more rapes will go unreported. False reports are extremely rare, more often the victim recants because of the court systems or allegations are just not prosecuted because of the he-said she-said thing.

Then, the news story went on to talk about underage drinking and warned girls to use the buddy system. More implicit victim blaming. Even if she didn't lie about it, she should have stayed sober and should never have left the house with a boy- even one that she knew. In all seriousness, as far as she knew she was using the "buddy system."

If a news story is presented on a similar topic, programs need to make sure that they are not blaming or shaming the victim. She has been through enough.

Quick note to Ryan Seacrest

It is not called babysitting when Mike is carrying his infant son in a newborn carrier, it is called parenting. Father's do not babysit their own children. It would never be called baby-sitting when it is a female contestant with children.

Censorship at University of Ottawa

Ann Coulter, a very controversial conservative speaker, was supposed to talk at the University of Ottawa yesterday, but the talk was cancelled due to apparent threats of violence from people who were opposed to her support of certain acts, such as the murder of specific racial/ethnic groups and abortion providers (an interesting stance for a "pro-life" advocate).

On the CTV morning news, Ezra Levant, a conservative analyst speaking on her behalf, called it censorship. He said that Canada was strong and free, freedom that was being denied by this censorship.

He questioned how they could allow an "anti-Semitic hatefest" for Israeli apartheid week, but not let Coulter speak. I am appalled that he could call apartheid week anti-Semitic or a "hatefest." Granted, I have never been to U of O, but I did participate in anti-apartheid week at my school and found that it was anything but hateful- actually, it advocated for ending an illegal occupancy of Palestinians in Israel. However, I am no expert on this topic and am not able to really discuss this occupancy in any detail.

Speaking of censorship, our school censored emails about Israeli apartheid week, first deleting previously sent emails from the server, then putting out a letter saying that "these announcements do not reflect the views of the department, or the university."

They also refused to send out an email telling students about a book launch for an amazing book written by a former student that criticizes workfare because they do not endorse events that critique the government's welfare system.

But I guess it is only called censorship when it quiets conservative opinions... even those that advocate for murder of people who do not agree.

Lost and neo-liberal ideologies

I love the show Lost. I have only been watching it for 3 seasons, but I've started watching season 1 to see all the old episodes too. It is likely one of my favorite shows- actually, I even read blog posts about episode recaps and speculation as to what all the crazy stuff that goes on actually means...

But, last night I was not happy with where the show went. It seems that the island is like a gateway for 'hell', protecting the world from all the 'evils'... the only thing keeping the 'devil' away from the rest of the world... ok, weird, but it kind of works in with the story line and I was super happy that they were finally answering some of the many questions they've posed.

However, the 'devil' is right there whispering in your ear and making deals with you. Jacob, the 'good' one, who keeps the gates of 'hell' closed, says that he does not talk to people because he is letting them make their own choices. For people to be proven 'good' they need to step up and make the right decisions even with the 'devil' in their ear.

Maybe it is just me, but the way it was presented reminds me of the rhetoric surrounding neo-liberal welfare cuts. The phrase about giving the poor "a hand up not a hand out" seems to fit this. Like, it is easy to sit on welfare all day, but you should have to work really hard to pick yourself up and make a good life for yourself. This hides all of the barriers that exist that make it nearly impossible for many people to "pick themselves up" in this way.

I'm told that I look too far into things, but I worry that when this type of discourse, even when in a different context, will continue to uphold neo-liberal regimes.

Assault Prevention Without Regulating Women

Too often we heard about how women should regulate their behavior in order to protect themselves from being raped or otherwise victimized. I'm sure most women reading this have heard about those tips since they were young; don't go anywhere alone, don't drink, etc. This leads to blaming the victim for putting themselves in a position where they could get hurt. I just found a different list here that I hope exposes how absurd the regulations that are imposed on women actually are.

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1. Don't put drugs in people's drinks in order to control their behavior.

2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!

4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON'T ASSAULT THEM!

6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8. Always be honest with people! Don't pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don't communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9. Don't forget: you can't have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone "on accident" you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

Funny Menstruation Commercial

This commercial actually makes fun of all of those other commercials about your period... you know, those ones that feature people horseback riding, swimming at the beach, and dancing in white pants?



Although it is still not perfect, it is a vast improvement on most commercials. And finally someone calls out that ridiculous blue liquid that everyone is pouring onto their pads.

I wonder if women would hate their periods less if they weren't told they were supposed to go out and do rhythmic gymnastics wearing a white spandex leotard every month.